A lack of material

Meh, nothing much going on at all. Just thought I'd post anyway =P.

Oh, I was beating on things earlier as a fake drumset and it wasn't that fail. Getting good at the paradiddles and such, and I don't even has a drumset. I just turn up Pandora and beat things in rhythm to the song as like... a rhythm drummer! xD It was fun, anyway. And I played my mom in some ping pong, we tied, both won two games.

Anyway. Not too much going on.
Ah, well. Jessica and I hit our one-month anniversary kinda recently (and I didn't really mention it here for some reason). Yay! Good times and all. That's about it :D

Fail

I remember once, Jessica and I had a conversation about pet peeves. I don't particularly remember all of hers at the moment, but one stuck in my mind; when someone promises to call at a certain time, but doesn't. She said after that point, they lose all her trust.
Oh, hey, on an unrelated note, guess what I did?

I was supposed to get up at 12:30 or so and wake her up. I apparently managed to get up, turn off my alarm, and go back to bed, because when I woke up at 3:00, the alarm was off.

And so now, understandably, she's upset with me. Not only that, but with the job, I rarely get to talk to her; I just lost 3 hours of talking. Plus, she was depending on me to wake her up, so she wakes up at 2:00 with a ton of chores she has to do, really really pissed. Yay me!

Of course, by the time I finish posting this, she's cooled off and such. But she was really upset, and understandably so. It actually kinda hurt, when she was giving me the silent cold-shoulder treatment, more than it would hurt if she just yelled at me. I'll just have to make sure not to do something stupid like that again, eh?

Also, though, I mentioned to her that I could "barely handle" this kind of anger, which was untrue. I mean, her first thought was probably "Well what about when I get REALLY mad...", which isn't what I meant. I can handle it either way; I could never leave her. I could never stand to be without her; I start to go crazy just after being at WORK all day without her. I just meant that it hurt a little, to have her angry with me; I don't like it at ALL. So I just have to avoid it. If she were more angry with me, I'd be more upset, but never anything drastic. Like I said. I could never live without her.

On a lighter note, work!
I has job. Texas Roadhouse. It's pretty kewl. For the most part, I grab a tub and a rag, go around the restaurant, and look for tables with noone sitting at them except dishes. Then I go, pick up the dishes, put them in the tub, wipe down the table, dump the peanut shells, and do some condiment organizing. Then take the tub back, set it back there for another busboy to clean (I hate that job), and grab another one. Easy! It just makes my feet and legs and fingers hurt a lot, and it's got relatively long hours, and the pay isn't as great as I thought it'd be. Still, it's a job, and the pay is better than retail. Plus, I've met some kewl people and such. Now my only worry is managing to ask off time long enough to go see Jessica, but I have no clue of this week's schedule anyway (though I hope to go see her after I collect tip-out on Thursday. Like, maybe leaving Monday... if she approves. She actually wants to wait for her mom to ask, rather than asking on her own, and while I understand, I'm quite impatient. I want to see her really badly). Either way, unless she specifically forbids me, I've made a promise to myself to visit her before school starts. Even if her mom says no, we'll find some way to meet up, even if it's only for a few days.

So yeah. The job is handleable, assuming I can get time off to see her sometime. I'll check my schedule when I go in today.

I has job!

Woo! Omg. xD. I'm all excited and nervous and anxious. And it was too easy.

Let me detail it for you! =P
I walked in, walked up to the hostess and was like "Is there a manager in?", and she looks back to a fat lady, and they're both like looking at eachother for a minute trying to say something, and she's like "Wait, what position are you applying for?" "Busboy" "Okay, wait here a second and I'll go get a manager." And so she goes back, comes back to the fat lady, says "He's in the coolers", and turns to me "He'll be out here soon." Then I wait for a bit, and the fat lady comes up and says, "Come with me." I start walking, and she's all "So what's your name?" and I'm like "... hrm?", and she's like "... your name." "Oh, Daniel," I said, mumbly. "... What?" She didn't hear me. I shook my head head, clearing it "Daniel." "Okay Daniel" She holds out her hand for the paper, and I handed it to her. She glanced it over as she led the way to a table, putting it there and gesturing for me to sit. I do so, and she says "A manager will be here in a bit, just wait here. His name is Rob." As she's walking away, she glances at the sheet again, and says "Oh, you aren't related to Ashley, are you?" My brilliant answer was "Yes." Good thing she wasn't the manager I had to impress.
So I sit there. Annnnd I sit there. I put my phone on silent, gazing outside at the sunlit day, glancing around at the lighted signs adveritising Coors Light, among others. I watched countless servers come and go, looking for any guys ... there were like two, and they apparently weren't Rob. I almost wanted to leave; I'd been there nearly half an hour, but maybe this was a test. Finally, a man wearing a Burger King crown, with a very scruffy blonde beard walks up to me, in his uniform, and holds out his hand. He was one of those pretty-boys that could pull off the 'scruffy' look while still looking immaculately clean, and one of those people you instantly like. "Hey, I'm Rob" he said. I took his hand, smiling that fake smile you use when you're trying to appear warm and friendly; "Daniel." Rob took a seat across from me, taking the paper in his hands and looking over it. "Oh, you're Ashley's brother, right?" "Yep." "That's good. Ah, not a felon. You've never had a job before, Daniel?" This one was important. "No, I haven't. Well ... a few summers ago, I volunteered at Habitat For Humanity, but..." He was already shaking his head, as if to say "That doesn't count", but he didn't say anything. "So are you still in school?" I answered like an idiot: "Yeah, I'm taking some calculus and stuff this year, and I'm hoping to transfer to App some time." Now, see, not only does he not want to know this (it's not just random chit-chat, after all), but I just gave him a good reason not to hire me. He noticed this, and he kind of gave me an odd look; "And when are you planning on doing that?" I realized my mistake at this point, but managed to keep my composure, "In about a year." He nodded, and kept looking over my application. "Well. Daniel Todd Beaver II" He drew out my name, smirking, as if he found it funny. "You have a job." My heart leapt into my throat. "I want to see you here tomorrow at 10:00 sharp. Don't be late. You'll need a pair of jeans and some slickless server shoes." At this, he held out his foot so I could take a look at his shoes. "You can buy them for about $20 at Wal-Mart. Your sister should know what I'm talking about." He was smiling now, and he winked at this. "You can wear a hat if you want," and he gestured at his Burger King crown, "as long as there's no naked ladies on it." He was grinning, probably at my expression, and all I could really say was "... Alright then." I stood, because he had stopped talking, and was smiling at this point. "Thanks" I said, genuinely. He nodded, and repeated "I'll see you tomorrow at 10. Don't be late. Oh, and remember," he pointed at his crown, "I'm the king." He winked, and we both laughed a little; him because he thought his joke was funny, me because I was becoming giddy at the prospect of actually having a job. I waved at him, and walked out the door, taking long strides and trying not to jump up and down. I got in my truck, and sang out loud with my music up two volumes higher than normal, driving recklessly for the thrill.

And here I am now. xD

For those who didn't notice, that was some small practice for writing a short story of sorts, though I doubt my stories would ever be about something so mundane =P, as intriguing as it may be. Besides which, nobody likes a main character who's all nervous and twitchy xD.

At any rate, I'm excited. If you can't tell. I has job! I get to go in in the morning. I have no clue of the pay or anything, but from what my sister tells me, I'll be earning around $50 a night from tips alone. That's enough to see Jessica after two nights working! Of course, now that I have a job, I'll have to ask for time off (and I can work a bit longer to get some cash to stay longer, at a hotel, rather than sleeping in my truck =P). My plan is to see Jessica for something like a week at a time (because I doubt they'd let me off work for much longer, especially since I just started... that's a stretch anyway, but we'll see), and save up some cash otherwise. All I ever have to buy is gas, since I live with my parents, so I can save up. I need... $400 for a drumset, $300 or so for a new Xbox (I'd get a PS3, but I already have a bunch of controllers for Xbox). $500 for a computer upgrade (which isn't needed much since I don't game much anymore, but that's irrelevant) OR $1000ish for a decent laptop. Oh right. $800ish for a semester of school. I suppose that one should go first =P, but first is Jessica. I can get student loans if I have to.

I like making plans with money that I don't even have yet. =P. As long as I make no RELIANT plans, I'm good (though I should definitely start making more serious plans for the Symphony X concert on August 23rd. Woo!)

Good 'Job'

Yay me. I really really suck at getting a job. I'm indecisive, and I hate doing something I'm unfamiliar with that everyone else seems to know exactly what they're doing. That is, in fact, why I avoided relationships for so long. Everyone else seemed to know what to do except me, so in order to avoid humiliation, I did nothing. Same for a job.
I was supposed to go in today between two and four. I knew they were closed until four, but I bit the bullet, even though I knew I'd probably look like an idiot, and went anyway. Rattled on the doors for a minute, looked really stupid, got back in the car, went home. Some time passed. Next thing I know, it's like 4:10 and my mom's bitching at me that OMG, I should have been there AT four, it's too late now! Onoes!

I hate being indecisive. I hate being lazy, and I hate how I love to procrastinate. All in all, it's leading me down one road I never want to go down ... and if I'm not careful, it will cost me my schooling, my friendships, my love ... my life. I mean. Jessica loves me, but if I can't even get a damn job by the time school rolls around, and that means I can't even pay to go to school, let alone come see her ... I couldn't expect her to stay with me.
I mean, I'm not saying anything bad. But you have to work to keep something like this going, and if things stay the same, if I can't see her, I don't see her staying with me, no matter how much she loves me. I'm very very afraid that if I take too long getting a job, like I'm doing, she's going to find someone new... someone close, someone who doesn't NEED a job to see her every day. I shouldn't be worried. We've been through some stuff, we're both quite sure that we can't be apart, so I should know that she wouldn't do that. But ... if I suck this much? Who could blame her. Who would really want to stay with a lazy slob who lives in his mom's basement and can't even get off his ass to get a job?

Still. They open at 11 on Fridays. I'm going in tomorrow at 2. We'll see what happens.

The Birthday Massacre

I like theatric titles. Anyway, this is the name of a really cool techno/rock/pop band that I like, and on Pandora, it's giving me awesome songs. I like it.

In other news, I'm beginning to wonder about a significant lack of material in my blogs. In past journals, blogs, whatever, I've always written about how things are going wrong in my life. But ... nothing is. Things are going perfectly. I feel like I'm falling more in love with Jessica every day, and nothing's going wrong, and the Nickelback song "Feelin' way too damn good" keeps running through my head; I feel like something IS going to go wrong, just because it can't stay this good forever =P. But I can be optimistic, right? What if it really can stay this good?

Well, at any rate. I went out to eat today with my family and my sister's boyfriend (and her, of course), and the only notable thing that really happened was that my mom and sister both commented that I'm apparently really good at beating things with drumsticks, because they can hear me upstairs when I whip out this tupperware container and the top of my Xbox 360. That's pretty epic, if I may say so, because I've of course had no lessons, and they're very makeshift drums. It's flattering that they think I'm good from what they've heard (especially because I can only do two drums at once, and I only HAVE two or three different noises, and they still find it good ... what if I had a bass pedal? More drums? A cymbal?). This makes me happy :D. I do still need cash for a drumset, but Texas Roadhouse (where my sister works) told me to bring the application back Thursday between two and four. I'll hand it to a manager, and see if I can get a job as a busboy (when they generally make $50 nightly, at least). The drumset will come slowly after that, but maybe I could do a rental thing (I know some music stores do it) where I can pay monthly, and if I rent it long enough to pay the cost, I get to keep it. That'd be kewl, because what if it turns out that after all this, I don't really enjoy playing drums? At any rate, I'm pretty excited at the thought of playing drums more seriously.

School is going to be hell. I'm going to have to pay for it, and I know I won't scrounge up the money, so I'm going to look into student loans. Of course, Forsyth Tech will cost me less than $1000 a semester (and my parents are refunding that), so ... I could totally get a larger student loan, and then spend the money on a few small things (like a drumset!), and pay it back later ... I mean, you don't even have to begin payment on student loans until AFTER you've graduated from school entirely, so that wouldn't be too much of a problem. I'm usually really good with saving money, so I'm not worried, especially if I don't use the loan on something like ... a new car. Just small things. It's a really bad idea, theoretically, but it works, eh? Just a thought. I'll have to look into it.

I wanna play Rock Band. Hrm. Jordan's in Ohio ... that makes this difficult. I shoved my drumset into the box to send it back, but it has no packaging ... but still. If I tape it up and send it, they might send me a replacement, and then I can take it to Max's if he wasn't off on church camp. All my Rock Band options are gone, wtf! xD, bastards... you just lost The Game...

Anyway. I wanna do something. Most notably, I want to go to Virginia, but lacking the money for that =P, I may try to go do something with someone nearby to entertain myself (notably tomorrow, when Jessica will be gone from noonish until nineish to practice and record. She's pretty damn good with that guitar, I must say. I can't wait to hear the recordings :D). But yeah.

The Dark Night

Well it's pretty dark outside tonight. Maybe I just like the title matching up with yesterday's blog.

Anyway. Not much to say for today. I woke up at 5 PM, and it was nice sleeping in (recently, I've been having Jessica call me when she wakes up, and I'm not good at running on less than 12 hours of sleep).

I think I can declare today (rather, yesterday, since it's 4 AM) the "Annoy your ex" day. Bridget got one of her friends to IM me, and I had an interesting conversation with him. This bothered me a bit, because I've been apart from Bridget for more than two months at this point (I think). I totally hurt her, at least a little, but it's been more than long enough; she should be over me. I haven't actually thought about her since ... I'm not sure, but it's been quite a long time since I even thought of her name. And here she is, still thinking about me, getting her friends to 'prank' me (though we ended up having a nice conversation anyway). I even removed her from all my lists not long ago, I mean... we should be done and over with, I'd be content to never speak to her again.
And then Bri also IMed me today, and she wasn't quite as annoying, but she thought we were still friends, and I really can't have that. I don't keep in touch with Ex's for good reason. All in all, though, it was like "wtf! Go away!"

And WTF! This other girl I met just called me (it's 4 AM), an emo girl who I talked out of killing herself a few times. I'm lazy. I am NOT answering.

Let's see, what else... ah. I gave Jessica's friend, Damien, my Diablo II cd key. He now owes me his life, or an infinite number of favors or whatever. I win. Plus, he told me a secret that only I and 6 other people know, apparently. I'm stealing all Jessica's friends! :D, I mean, Tiffani and Serena both IM me randomly daily, for the most part. xD

Other than that, my day today was mostly singularly uneventful. I spent most of it talking to Jessica, though, and so I are happy. :D

The Dark Knight

It was epic. Very, very epic, and even if I'm a heartless bastard, I mourn Heath Ledger simply because he was so very awesome.
I don't want to spoil anything, but the Joker is easily my favorite villain of all time. Ever. Anywhere. <3
Anyway, that's as much as I can say to avoid spoilers (well, I'm sure I could say more, but I won't). I just loved it.

Hellboy ... the first one ... sucked. I watched it after I got home from Dark Knight (or rather, back to Trent's =P), and ... it was really crappy. I laughed like once or twice at the stupidity of the sword-wielding nazi that can deflect bullets into people that never dies and his blood has dried up into sand. Other than that, it was mostly unremarkably absurdly stupid xD, but maybe #2 will be less fail.

I went almost all day so far today without talking to Jessica much at all! I was sad. But now I'm home and now I'm talking to her, yay! :D.

Other than that, not much going on in my life other than losing The Game. But that's just me. xD

Jealousy

... it stings =P. Plus, it's an awesome title for a journal. I mean, come on! It's not even really jealousy, it's just an awesome title (and no, I'm not actually upset; I'll let you know =P).

The main reason for the title is that one of Jessica's Ex's, Lonnie, was at her place today. I know she has no more feelings for him, but they're friends, and she turned on the webcam while he was there so it'd be slightly less awkward. And he pisses me off. A lot.

He was all over her! Like, seriously. Practically on top of her, moving his face inches from her, and she's backing away and he's moving forward, and it was sickening. Not only does he know she's taken, but she's quite obviously not interested in him anyway; that's pure douchery, to try to force himself on her like that. I want to punch him. I probably will, if I ever see him =P.

Also, my mom's an idiot xD. She backed her car off over a 'cliff' we have on our driveway this morning! It was epic fail, and I had to get the SUV and a ropey thing and pull it off. We could've died if she had gone further over that hill ... good times, good times. This is the car she almost owned. o.O

But anyway, on other topics. I played Warcraft 3 a bit last night! It was the first time I've played in quite a while. It was fun, and I was up til 8 AM because I lost the first two, and then refused to go to bed on a loss and got Spectre for the last game. Ftw!

On a more serious note, the Army. My parents are interested in me joining, and I sortof am too. I'd never go, as far as I know, due to the fact that I couldn't leave people, but I'm planning on taking the placement test to see just how awesome of a career I could have in the military; not necessarily the Army, just whichever gives me the best choices (Preferably Air Force).

Now, however, I begin to wonder who I will tell about this blog (and I also wonder at the amazing amount of typos I have on the blog, when I don't get typos anywhere else, for the most part). I know Jessica, because that's fair, and it's a lot about and for her =P. But my close friends ... well. I'm afraid that they're going to, for example, read today's post, and since they don't know her well, judge Jessica based on it. Plus, I highly doubt any of them really want to read my blog.

Anyway. We got my sister's car today, it's a little Honda Civic. I like it, a lot. It supposedly gets 36MPG, and it has awesome visibility in the car, rides smoothly, and has great handling. I want.

- So if you can't tell, this blog is mostly going to go over all the little trivial details of my every day life in excruciating detail, as if they weren't quite so trivial =P, though from time to time it may include some important things. Have fun reading xD

First Post! (Introduction)

Well hey. This Blog/Journal was once used for something not so happy ... but that doesn't mean I can't still put it to use. So I shall blog!
Let's see. As a first blog, let's summarize me and my life.

I am in love. I am madly, deeply in love with a 15 year old girl named Jessica. She lives about 5 hours away from me, driving, and it costs in the vicinity of $150 to see her for a weekend, but it's so worth it. I have yet to meet her ... but we've been dating for a grand total of 22 days (Okay, so maybe I had to look up the anniversary date, but I did write it down! =P), and ... it's fantastic. She makes me so happy, she is ... everything, to me. But enough about her, though she's a huge part of my life (and thus my blogs) at this point. Let's move on, shall we?

(Nerdiness at it's finest)
I am a nerd. Hardcore. Nerdfighter, I play Dungeons & Dragons, I code (VBScript, C++, C#, Java, HTML, you name it, I can code it) ... often. I love mathematics and physics. Our D&D group randomly breaks into random mathematics/physics sessions sometimes; once, we calculated a formula to find the terminal velocity of a person, and determined exactly how long it would take to fall 500 feet. Another time, we made a formula to determine how far along the horizon a person could see when they're X feet above the ground, on Earth. We like math. And physics.

(Awesome Friends =P)
I have few friends ... but they're all *amazingly* good friends. I'd say I have five real 'friends' in real life, all of which I've known for quite a few years, all of which play D&D with me on weekends. We're all really good friends ... it's actually really really awesome. I love my friends (in a platonic way).

I am 18. I am going to start my second year at college in the Fall, assuming I can get a proper loan for it. Up until now, my parents have funded my schooling, but I had to drop a course last semester, so they've started a new policy such that I have to pay for my classes, but if I get a B or above, they will refund all my costs for them. I'm currently at a community college (Forsyth Tech, for those that care), due to costs and retardation. I failed Latin while I was in High School, and it was too late to retake it, and apparently universities will not accept you unless you have two years of a language (or two semesters, in college). Of course, this actually turned out to be a nice decision. A semester at Forsyth Tech is rarely more than $1000, and after two years, I'll have an associate's degree. Not only will this help me get jobs, but once I have the degree, colleges in my state are *required* to accept me, assuming I meet the minimum GPA requirement (2.2 at the school I want to go to). So after four years, I'll have a full Bachelor's degree, with my first two years costing less than a single semester at Appalachian State (where I hope to go). Right now, I'm majoring in Mathematics, but once I transfer to Appalachian, I change my major to Computer Science (maybe a minor in Mathematics, Physics, or Psychology).

(Myself and my pimp hat)
Jeez, that one was long. Okay, so I'm awesome. :D. I'm actually cocky, and proud of myself, proud of who I've become over the years. I'm proud of my knowledge, my mad skillz =P, the fact that I found the best girl in the world, and just in general, proud of myself. I try to be confident but not cocky, most of the time, and I think it helps that I try xD. I use smileys a lot when I type, and I always type perfectly if possible.

I love soda. I drink 2L bottles of Vault regularly, and any soda I can get my hands on. It never makes me jittery or hyper, but I love the taste.

On that unrelated note, I hate drinking, drugs, and smoking. I have never actually tried them, and I never plan to. Drinking and drugs purely disgust me; if I see someone drunk, I tend to never think of them the same again - and the same for stoned. As for smoking (cigarettes), I think it's almost as stupid as doing drugs, costs a ton, and is disgusting in the end anyway. I'd rather live my life with a clean, unaltered mind, thanks.

I'm naive. I will admit this. I like to believe in the innate ability of things to simply WORK. Our government, for example. It's been in place for many years, and it seems to be working. I have faith in the fact that it WILL work out in the end, because people more intelligent than myself have made sure of that. Same for most things similar to that. Also, I'm a firm believer in fate, karma, destiny, whatever you call it. I tend to live a charmed life, so I tend to be optimistic about outcomes of things. I believe that in the end, everything will work out for the best for me, and in general, for everyone that isn't a total douchebag. Also, I hate religion; I can tolerate it, and I don't hate those who practice a religion (except those who do it hypocritically), but I dislike the idea of trying to understand something incomprehensible, and I think it's far too convenient. I might blog more about this later when I have no topics.

I love music. Power Metal is my favorite (Symphony X being my favorite band, Krypteria, Beautiful Sin, etc.), though I'll listen to any non-screamo metal (including Static-X), Industrial (NiN, Collide, Jakalope), Speed Metal (Dragonforce, Kamelot, Dark Moor), Symphonic/Operatic Metal (Epica, Apocalyptica, Nightwish, Elis), Gothic Metal (Evanescence), stuff like Linkin Park, Rammstein, Dream Theatre, Within Temptation, Thousand Foot Krutch, Marilyn Manson, Three Days' Grace, Nickelback, Rob Zombie, Papa Roach, Three Doors Down, Angra, Xandria ... I love music. I get most of my music from http://pandora.com , and if you've never been there, go. Now. You type in the name of your favorite band or song, and it finds songs with similar qualities and plays them. You'll find TONS of new bands with awesome songs. You can rate the songs, so if you like it, it will play more like it, or if you don't, it will play less like it.

I game. I play Warcraft III (though less often) as D.Mentia@azeroth, and I run a bot constantly (D.Maria@Azeroth) Which you can easily get in touch with. I also run Clan_IoD@Azeroth as another bot, but that's on another compy, so I won't check it much. I like to play DotA, and I'm pretty damn good, if I may say so. Not tournament-style, I just play pubbies for fun, but I tend to do pretty nicely. I also play Garry's Mod, sparingly, but if you can drag me in, that's cool. I use WireMod extensively (and mostly suck at the physics aspect, due to all the shitty constraints), especially expressions. I make some kewl stuff :D. I also play almost any Steam game (DMentia, feel free to add me), so yeah.

(Very broken Rock Band Drumset)
I want to drum. I don't currently know how to play an instrument, and that's sad. Plus, I rock at Rock Band drums (I can get multipliers for most of the Don't Fear The Reaper solo =P, and beat every song on expert, five starring all but ... Fallout Boy, Iron Maiden, The Who, and... I think that's it), which are practically a real drumset, right? I just want a drumset to learn to play, and for that, I need a job.

I need a job! xD. Hopefully that will change as I write this blog. Right now, I'm helping a friend with a small computer repair business, but it's bad pay and not steady, so I need a real job. I need around $150 a week to see Jessica on weekends, and I need to save up at least $500 for a beginner drumset. Plus my computer could use an upgrade... =P (see the picture). I'd like to get a job as a waiter, just because it pays very well, though a REAL computer repair job would be much better (or if I could magically get a software-related job without experience/proper education, that would kick ass).






I do some photoediting, sometimes, and I try to write (but I'm lazy as hell). Check my deviantart for updates at dmentia.deviantart.com



Alright. That's just about everything I can think of about myself. I'll add some pictures of myself and other things here and call it a night, and I'll start writing day-by-day blogs (not necessarily daily) about my day-to-day happenings, maybe.