Good 'Job'

Yay me. I really really suck at getting a job. I'm indecisive, and I hate doing something I'm unfamiliar with that everyone else seems to know exactly what they're doing. That is, in fact, why I avoided relationships for so long. Everyone else seemed to know what to do except me, so in order to avoid humiliation, I did nothing. Same for a job.
I was supposed to go in today between two and four. I knew they were closed until four, but I bit the bullet, even though I knew I'd probably look like an idiot, and went anyway. Rattled on the doors for a minute, looked really stupid, got back in the car, went home. Some time passed. Next thing I know, it's like 4:10 and my mom's bitching at me that OMG, I should have been there AT four, it's too late now! Onoes!

I hate being indecisive. I hate being lazy, and I hate how I love to procrastinate. All in all, it's leading me down one road I never want to go down ... and if I'm not careful, it will cost me my schooling, my friendships, my love ... my life. I mean. Jessica loves me, but if I can't even get a damn job by the time school rolls around, and that means I can't even pay to go to school, let alone come see her ... I couldn't expect her to stay with me.
I mean, I'm not saying anything bad. But you have to work to keep something like this going, and if things stay the same, if I can't see her, I don't see her staying with me, no matter how much she loves me. I'm very very afraid that if I take too long getting a job, like I'm doing, she's going to find someone new... someone close, someone who doesn't NEED a job to see her every day. I shouldn't be worried. We've been through some stuff, we're both quite sure that we can't be apart, so I should know that she wouldn't do that. But ... if I suck this much? Who could blame her. Who would really want to stay with a lazy slob who lives in his mom's basement and can't even get off his ass to get a job?

Still. They open at 11 on Fridays. I'm going in tomorrow at 2. We'll see what happens.