Worry

Worry is atrocious, isn't it? But what would I call it ... nervousness? Anxiety/anxiousness? Anticipation? That one sounds about right.

So ... tomorrow (Wow. Holy shit. That's like ... within 24 hours o.O), I'm going to go see Jessica, theoretically. If her mom says yes. Of course, she also has to tell her mom that I am in fact 18, not the 17 she told her before, and also that she met me on the internet, not at a skating rink. If, after this, her mom says yes, then my parents want to talk to hers, and then all SHOULD be well. Assuming my mom's hotel has an open room near there. There are a few concerns of mine... most notably...

Money. I had about $200 when we first planned this, more than enough even if I were taking the truck. Now, I'm taking my sister's Honda, which gets (supposedly) 34 MPG. I'll be driving without AC (to save gas/money), so I might get more, and I'll be driving at the speed limit for the same reason. So theoretically, at $3.69 per gallon, driving 614 miles round trip, with $25 a night for two nights at a hotel, the grand total is $116.42. That's really not bad. However, recounting my money, I've come to $166. Again, not bad. But that's assuming I withdraw $40 of the $44 from my checking, and I'm not sure how smart of an idea that is. Also, this is assuming that the days off I applied for ... are actually given to me. And this is assuming that we can get my dentist appointment properly rescheduled. Either way, that leaves me about $50 after necessary gas and somewhere to sleep. So that doesn't seem so great, but... eh.

What do I need, anyway? Food, mostly. McDonald's cheeseburgers every day or something =P, as long as I skip on fries and get my own drinks (2L's), I should be able to survive. I'm a pretty smart shopper. Other than that ... what? A bouquet of flowers? As much as I'd love to, I can't properly afford something like that =(. Sorry Jessie! I do almost feel like I'm not doing enough, sometimes. Like I don't really deserve her, unless I treat her absolutely perfectly, and I know this whole situation is stressing her the hell out. But hopefully we'll both be absurdly happy when we meet, so it'll be okay :D.

Also, as a backup plan, I hope to ask for my parents' credit card just in case something bad happens and I find myself needing some cash to survive, or make it home.

I have another worry; what if her mom won't let us see each other much? Knowing I have a car and a hotel room, she might not let Jessie go anywhere with me. That would suck. We wouldn't get any alone time, and, well, yeah. It's not like we have plans to do anything sexual, but at least a kiss =P.

At any rate. This is a HUGE occurrence in my life. In fact, the single most important thing that I've ever done. I really hope things go smoothly so we can see about doing it again sometime relatively soon. And I'm really nervous and anxious about it, in a good way. I mean, I AM going to be alone, without anything, in a town I know nothing about, with very little cash (of course, I'll be less alone when she's around =P, but there WILL be times when we won't be together). That's nerve wracking, not to mention I get to meet the girl of my dreams, the love of my life. And her parents.

And that was a fun rant about the worries!
Now a list of things I CAN'T forget to bring:
Contacts & Stuff
Deodorant
Clothes (xD)
Phone Charger
Birthday Gift (I still owe her one :D)
Extra Shirt (She said she's stealing one xD)
MP3 player (To avoid EPIC boredom)
Toothbrush & Toothpaste
D&D Books (... if I ever actually pull these out, she has full permission to slap me. But just in case she wants to learn in person)
Guitar Hero Guitar (We might actually play this =P)